Emotional project…

Some very dear friends and I make up the board of directors for Walk to Remember, an annual memorial event for bereaved parents. This will be this event’s 5th year, but our first year as a group. The prior four years were run by the founders, who decided it was time to pass the torch.

The event is truly amazing, and absolutely moving. Over 600 people came last year, and we’re expecting even more this time. It is so sad to enumerate all of the missing babies in my mind, but I prefer to be grateful that the families have found us and will be taking part in the event with so many others.

My job for the event is to secure some bereavement-related vendors for the day. Memorial items, candles, scrapbooking, memorial jewelry, etc. My friend Jeri does Heritage Makers Storybooks, and signed on immediately. The books she sells are unreal… and we decided that I should create a memory book in Rowan’s honor as a display to show at the day of the walk.

Well… I took it on as a mission. How neat it would be to have another way to share her pictures! And here I am in tears, at my desk… trying to get this thing completed. It is turning out beautifully, but I was fooling myself when I thought it would be an easy thing to do.

I have been transported back in time to those days in December 1999 when we first laid eyes on this precious little bundle, and then had to say goodbye. I have taken out her pictures and have been seeing anew how strained our faces looked, how small she was.

My god – how much I miss her.

One of the things I wrote in her storybook mentioned that I recall how she smelled so sweet, like she was coated in sugar. As I wrote it this morning, and as am typing it here for you now – I can smell her. Its incredible.

I cannot wait to share Rowan’s Storybook with you all.

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