I admit it, I am a people pleaser. Maybe it is 3rd child syndrome, maybe it comes from my Irish-Catholic upbringing, maybe it is just because I am so sweet. ;) But, if there is anyone out there trying hard to get something done and they express a need for help – I am there!
I am also the type of person who prefers to be busy. Having not-so-much to do is akin to taking an Ambien. Instead of having the luxury of being able to focus on the one thing on my list… I grow bored and restless. I thrive and am much more productive when the list if overflowing and I am moving at a clip.
About 5 months ago, this all started to get out of control. I was caught up in an amazing mess of my own making, totally stressed out and wondering how I let this happen. I was overwhelmed by my paid work, my RTF work, volunteering for other groups, school stuff for the kids, and forget about house chores. I was totally exhausted and miserable with the thought of doing anything, and was feeling like I could just run away from it all.
About a month ago, I made a pledge to myself to change this mess. I put on my stern hat and started to say “no”. I was tempted the very next morning when an email from my son’s school PTO sent out a frantic call for a volunteer to produce next year’s yearbook. You can manage that project. No! Sure, it would be fun, you’ll get to know more of the school moms… NO!
I battled for two days, talked to my husband about my inner turmoil, and finally decided that if I was serious about making a change, this is the Universe sending my first test. I looked at the email again, still feeling like it would be just my luck that the school district was using some new secret government email system that can read your thoughts and they would expell my 1st grader if I didn’t step up and … and … *delete*
FREEDOM! I felt like Maria twirling and singing in the Austrian Alps while the Von Trapp children sang backup to a synchronized dance.
Well, today I am reaping the rewards. I brought the kids to school, attended my daughter’s graduation from preschool, picked up a roast and veggies for dinner, came home, crawled into bed and napped for an hour. This is not to be confused with the stressed out, power-nap that gets squeezed in between errands and laundry, done out of need to relieve the gritty-eyed and strung out feeling. This was a 4-star, worry-free, nap-by-choice because I had made the time for myself.
Granted, I still had to set the alarm for an hour so I could have time for additional errands before picking up the kids… but still.