I have to confess that I wanted to take this post in a million directions. Motherhood and Mother’s Day bring me to my happiest and my darkest moments. I’ve decided instead to share my post in three parts: The Sisterhood, This Sister, and The Sister with Empty Arms.
When you become a mom, you enter into this sisterhood of women who totally get you. From the addled “baby brain” that comes in the early days, to the milestones that make you feel like your kid is the First Child In The World to have achieved such greatness, to the frustrations, the hurts, the momma-bear moments, and the emergency room visits… other moms totally get you.
And you need them to get you. There is nothing like the support you get from other moms. They babysit your kids when your plans go awry and you’re stuck. They listen when you need to vent about the sleepless nights and the endless laundry. Even if it is just someone to be there on the other end of the phone or the email or the text, the sisterhood is who you turn to.
I can’t begin to count the times when I felt like a failure because my kid was a beast to his friends. My mom-sisters understood. I will never forget when my eldest son was finally able to share with me that he was being bullied at school and my heart broke. How did I not know? What should I do for my sweet boy? The sisterhood to the rescue.
The sisterhood is there for you because whether or not they have experienced what you’re going through, they understand what’s at stake. They know the pain and the guilt and the worry that never leaves you – all without having to be told.
This Sister… (a bit about what Mother’s Day means to me)
This is my mom, Patti. (and me, and my sister’s arm.)
My mom was one of those best-friend moms. We had so much in common and really enjoyed spending loads and loads of time together as adults. She died of cancer in 1998 at the age of 51, and there are still times that I can’t believe she is gone. The thing that breaks my heart today is that my children will never know her. She was such a vibrant, smart, and hilarious person and my kids would have loved her. I miss you mom!
This is my daughter, Rowan.
Rowan Johanna died when she was just a baby. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her and how much our lives have been impacted daily by having her and losing her. So many people say that everything happens for a reason. I really don’t like to think about it that way. I tend to feel instead that it would be an incredible waste to ignore the gifts and the beautiful things that have come as a result. Rowan Tree Foundation is named for my daughter, and through the work done there, a team of volunteers and I work to support families who are walking this crazy path of life after losing a child. My greatest wish is for people to realize that it is ok to talk about child loss. That we really need to talk more about it.
This is, from L to R, Aidan, Conor, Liam, and Rory.
|Fab photo by: UleLoguePhotography.com|
I cannot believe that my husband and I have been so blessed with these children! Conor is our adventurer, possibly our writer. He will be exploring and moving and learning as long as he can. Rory is our artist. She is a good friend and the silly one in her crowd. Liam is our jolly yet stubborn one. But as he gets older I’m finding that he really just wants to have things explained to him so he can take action. Aidan is our tender heart. What a love this boy is. Even on our very worst day, I am so in love with these people!
The Sister with Empty Arms…
So many women, too many women, have had to say goodbye to their child. Mother’s Day is a very difficult day for anyone who has lost a child. It is made even more so because the world doesn’t know how to deal with this. Through my work with Rowan Tree Foundation and the Miss Foundation and lots of other organizations, I know of thousands of women who will spend Mother’s Day with empty arms.
If you know someone who has lost a child, no matter how old this child was when they died, please reach out and let them know you remember. You won’t make them sad, they are already sad… but you’ll lighten their heart when you speak their child’s name and tell them that you remember.
Clearly, she is in the sisterhood:
This post was made as part of the #MayMomBlog Hop going on all month long! So far, we’ve enjoyed posts from :
5/1 by Nadia at Musings By The Light Of The Moon
5/2 by Christine at All About Momsense
5/3 by Crystal at Domestic But Not Martha
5/4 by Dana at The Sears Family
5/5 by Wendy Jean at Keeping Up With The Pickles
5/6 by Kimberly at All Work & No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something
Be sure to visit tomorrow’s Mother’s Day post by: